How many grown people do you know that live with there parents!

[Furious1Auto]

Just quirious, I know six!

[swenson88]

Just quirious, I know six!

 

I probably know at least that many. I'm 27 and they're all around that age. For most of them it isn't that they can't afford to move out it's just that their priorities are kind of whack. Several make the same money as me or more, yet they choose to drive luxury cars, go on extravagant vacations, and don't seem to think about the future at all. They're having a blast, I just don't personally understand NOT wanting to move out - that was the first thing on my mind, everything else came second. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

[Furious1Auto]

I probably know at least that many. I'm 27 and they're all around that age. For most of them it isn't that they can't afford to move out it's just that their priorities are kind of whack. Several make the same money as me or more, yet they choose to drive luxury cars, go on extravagant vacations, and don't seem to think about the future at all. They're having a blast, I just don't personally understand NOT wanting to move out - that was the first thing on my mind, everything else came second. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Could they afford this extravagant lifestyle if they where on their own?

[wixommm]

Who cares about life style, privacy and self respect should be more important. I mean what if you meet a girl and want to take her home, gee lets go to my parents, arghhhh...YUKKK.. If he cant be serious about his own future he sure as heck wont be serious about anyone elses.

[ktpworker69]

I probably know at least that many. I'm 27 and they're all around that age. For most of them it isn't that they can't afford to move out it's just that their priorities are kind of whack. Several make the same money as me or more, yet they choose to drive luxury cars, go on extravagant vacations, and don't seem to think about the future at all. They're having a blast, I just don't personally understand NOT wanting to move out - that was the first thing on my mind, everything else came second. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

 

its that generation....for the most part they are lazy. they cant keep jobs, or dont want to.....dont have thier priorities straight in the least. just think, this is the generation that will be taking care of my generation when we get old. god help us

[captamrica]

its that generation....for the most part they are lazy. they cant keep jobs, or dont want to.....dont have thier priorities straight in the least. just think, this is the generation that will be taking care of my generation when we get old. god help us

 

 

I agree, I'm trying to teach my children about work ethic, taking responsibility for ones actions, and being self sufficeint. I seem to be reaching my 7 year old, she understands when money is short or will ask if we can afford it when she wants something. When it comes to my other 2 (9 and 12 who live primarily with their mom) I do not seem to be getting anywhere. For the longest time my oldest (son) would say just go to the bank and cash a check thats what mom does. My other daughter seems to understand much better then he does. She makes comments that mom needs to find her own place to live, and other little comments that tells me she does not have much respect for her.

 

Their mom still lives with her parents, who function as live in childcare, after 9 years and has just started working as a nurse after 8 years in school to become an RN. She calls me constantly to handle disiplinary issues with my son because she can not handle him after working 3- 12 hour shifts per week. Holy crap Batman I worked 6-12 hour shifts at the plant and went to school 2 nights a week for 4 hours each night and still managed to run my son's scout den for 5 years one night a week and she can't handle 3- 12's. If she thinks it is bad now just wait until they are both teenagers.

 

As it is now they both walk all over her and her parents (both parents are in their late 70's one with heart issues the other seriously over weight). I warned her years ago about the precedent she was setting and how one day he (my son) will be able to kick her ass and then what are you going to do? My wife answered that question "She will dump them in our lap and we will be left to try and straighten them out". Have to admitt it looks like it is heading that way especailly since my support payments got cut from $1000 to $300 per month.

 

We both agree, we will gladly take them and she can keep her money, we don't want support from her just let us have them. Although that will not happen until her mother passes. That woman is hell bent on the mother is the best parent no matter what.

Edited May 9, 2007 by Captamrica

[kapten]

I probably know at least that many. I'm 27 and they're all around that age. For most of them it isn't that they can't afford to move out it's just that their priorities are kind of whack. Several make the same money as me or more, yet they choose to drive luxury cars, go on extravagant vacations, and don't seem to think about the future at all. They're having a blast, I just don't personally understand NOT wanting to move out - that was the first thing on my mind, everything else came second. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

 

What ever happened to "tough love"; who is making it easy to stay in the nest? I agree there are some circumstances when parents can help out for a while, but not forever. Little Johnny, or Jenny, needs to pay board, and should be expected to help with chores, lawn work, whatever until they move out. I've heard some parents complain about the kids getting away with murder and my answer is "Who's letting them?

[swenson88]

What ever happened to "tough love"; who is making it easy to stay in the nest? I agree there are some circumstances when parents can help out for a while, but not forever. Little Johnny, or Jenny, needs to pay board, and should be expected to help with chores, lawn work, whatever until they move out. I've heard some parents complain about the kids getting away with murder and my answer is "Who's letting them?

 

Oh definitely. Most of them don't pay any sort of rent at all, don't pay for the food their parents provide, etc etc. Seems crazy to me, but hey I like having a place of my own and wouldn't go back unless something really bad happened, and even then I might not. I'd rather be responsible and pay my way than live at home, even if it means I'm having a little less fun. Their parents seem to be waiting for them to meet the right girl/guy and then they'll move out. My little bro only graduated from college a year ago and he pays my parents rent to live there. He finally got a decent job so my bet is he moves out pretty soon. My parents weren't really coddlers.

[mrballsonya]

I agree, I'm trying to teach my children about work ethic, taking responsibility for ones actions, and being self sufficeint. I seem to be reaching my 7 year old, she understands when money is short or will ask if we can afford it when she wants something.

 

Maybe it's a 7 year old girl thing, My 7 year old is a saver and is also very conscientious of how lucky she is. She constantly thinks about others before herself, she is very hesitant to spend her saved money on herself but is delighted to buy gifts for friends and her siblings. She really is a very grateful child that realizes Money and Toys don't grow on trees and that you have to work and save to get the things you really want. My wife and I couldn't be happier with the way she's developing into a women, unfortunately her two younger sisters are almost the complete polar opposites. They both will cry and whine when either or gets a gift or a new toy, they both could care less about hurting the feelings of anyone else. I just hope it's something that they will grow out of, but I really have my doubts. My wife doesn't seem to be nearly as concerned as I, and this in itself bothers me.

 

The last thing I want to do is raise yet another inconsiderate, money grubbing, materialistic woman into this world.... we've already got plenty of those. I just hope that my younger two start to emulate their older sister and break out of this "I deserve everything mentality". I can just imagine them as 16 year olds now... but So and So's parents just but her a NEW BMW.....Oh no how am I going to survive without a new Beemer.... Woe is me. I hope I'm wrong about them, but unless things change drastically soon I think I'm going to be stuck with some very unpleasant, ungrateful, and materialistic daughters.

[captamrica]

Some courts would not agree. I went through a divorce back in 2004. I have full custody of both our daughters. She has rumbled a few times about fighting for custody, but when you don't show up for your scheduled visits, the courts notice you might not be the most fit parent.

 

And, I don't get any support either. Neither her, or her new husband actually make any money. And, what little they do is currently tied up fighting a DUI. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip.

 

That is something I have always done as well as take them whenever she asks me to. This summer is going to be difficult, my wife got a new job, more money and better hours. She now works 9:00 to 5:30 w/no weekends rather then 2:00 to 11:00 and weekends which is great since she hardly ever seen our daughter during the week. We found that this had a detrimental effect on her (daughter) since for 6 years she was always home with her.

 

Since I bought out we swaped rolls and honestly after 26 years of working full time it had an impact I did not anticipate on me as well, I'd rather be working. I took an interime job working at an equestrian (yes I am doing what most will joke about) center near our home making $12.00 while I continue to look for what I "WANT" rather then what I "MUST" do. Although it has enabled me to network with people and I have landed 3 side jobs for electrical work making me an additional $700 in the last 2 weeks. It also has my daughter, who started horseback riding lessons 3 weeks ago (her instructor tipped me to the job and put in a good word for me) as happy as can be that Daddy works with horses, despite the fact that she knows what I shovel.

 

The problem now is I have my kids 2-weeks on and 2-weeks off during the summer months and there is no way I can trust my son to be in charge while we are both at work. He is way to selfish and has a temper that is, well like me only he has yet to get control of it. We started testing them beginning this year with trips to the store without them but we left some recording devices around to see how things REALLY happened. The way he treated my youngest, well I had to step outside and count to 10 when I heard what he had said to her. Even my oldest daughter was yelling at him to stop saying those things. She keeps asking me how old she has to be to come live with me, those 2 girls are, as they put it, BFF. They always want to dress the same and are insepertable when together.

 

Change is coming and some more hard decisions are on the horizon. My mom has volunteered to help out but I am not one to fall on my parents. I left at 18 for the Army and have been back twice, once when I left the service for 6 months and again after my house was sold during my divorce for 8 months. Although I may take her up on the offer for a few weeks this summer since the kids really do look forward to the time together. Either that or I shock the hell out my ex by making her figure out what to do. Apparently her parents have had enough since they can no longer control my son.

[captamrica]

What ever happened to "tough love"; who is making it easy to stay in the nest? I agree there are some circumstances when parents can help out for a while, but not forever. Little Johnny, or Jenny, needs to pay board, and should be expected to help with chores, lawn work, whatever until they move out. I've heard some parents complain about the kids getting away with murder and my answer is "Who's letting them?

 

 

Hell, my dad charged me room and board once I turned 18 and was staying to out late. He said either I follow his riles of the house or pay. I worked 6 nights a week at an Italian restaraunt as a cook. I asked him how much and opened my wallet and paid that month and a month in advance. Although my mom gave me the money back a couple of days later and told me dad was just worried about what I was doing out so late. I told her when you work that many nights and go to school the only time you have for yourself is late Saturday night. We came to that understanding. I turned 18 in January and by August of that year I was gone in the Army on my own and have been ever since aside from two times when I first got out of the service and after my divorce.

 

It is the parents that are enabling their children to do this. My ex's brother brings his checkbook and bills with him to his parents house every Friday for dinner. His mom writes out the bills and fills out his deposite slip with cash back for his weekly "allowance" and alocates some for savings. He is 44 years old and she was doing it 10 years ago and he is still at their house every Friday for dinner and my kids tell me Grandma does Uncle "J" paperwork after dinner. What is this man going to do when that are gone? This is not helping your kids.

[Raws41900]

i know 2, for them it was them taking care of their parents.. some families from the south are like that.

 

now, how many adults act like kids and dont live with their parents? i think that problem is worse.

[TIGER66]

If this union doesnt stop giving everything we got away we may all be living with our parents.

[icechips]

I know 4 people that lived at home (or moved back) but all have older parents so that was part of it. I've never left home. 10-15 yrs ago I thought it weird, until all my friends started moving back in because they couldn't afford it on their own, or parents got up there in years. Now it seems more common place. For me, I keep my mom company (even though my dad's alive he tends to sleep a bunch) and she keeps me company. I pay rent each month. I think it's fine as long as you pay some sort or rent or split the bills. But everyone I know is older, in their 30's-40's. My brother lived at home until his mid-30's... then my grandparents sold him their home.

 

I thinks it's fine, especially if the parents are older. Mine, thank God, are in great health, but other friends, they helped with that too.

[sim]

Whilst not of that generation, but on the upper fringes of the age of some of these folks i do have to wonder how the boomers can entirely blame the echo-boomers as they are the ones who are allowing them to stay in the house on low (if not 0) rent and such???

 

Personally i moved out when i went to college at 18 (admittedly 18.5 by the time the school year ended ), but never looked back or went to live with my parents again. I have known a few friends of my little brother-in-law who were supported through college and lived at home, some still do. They have nice savings accounts and also shop for expensive things, living quite the flambouyant lifestyle. If i didnt have half my income spoken for every month before the variable outlay i am sure i too could have a nice savings pad and such! I worked out that i spent more on just rent over the 4-5 years of under and post-grad schooling (not to mention the other costs) than any of them had saved. Now they are still living there keeping their hands firmly in their parents' pockets!

 

I also learnt how to look after myself quite young as through my teens (and a bit of my pre-teens too) my folks werent around in the evenings but for a short 30-min window before i went to bed and i got up before them to go to school each day - someone has to sort this stuff out! That learning helped the moving out not seem like a big deal, just an extra expense. However when i got to college i saw some people fresh off their mother's apron strings who had no clue about supporting themselves. I understand that is the norm, but still are people that pampered? It was sadening to see and i know once they finished their little independent few years they went straight back to live with their folks again.

 

Now we are pretty much settled and completely self-supporting we are thinking that within the next year or so we going to start watching over the last few years of our grandparents lives as they are proving to be a liability to themselves and probably also by 2010 i should imagine we'll also have my mother moving in up the street so she has some more support too - hell i havent even lived in the same country as her for almost 6 years and moved out of her house 11 years ago it might even be nice to see her again. Between my wife and i, we do pretty well and things have generally fallen into place, so we like to help those we care about when we can - i dont think that is a common theme these days either!

Edited May 9, 2007 by sim

[Furious1Auto]

Whilst not of that generation, but on the upper fringes of the age of some of these folks i do have to wonder how the boomers can entirely blame the echo-boomers as they are the ones who are allowing them to stay in the house on low (if not 0) rent and such???

 

Personally i moved out when i went to college at 18 (admittedly 18.5 by the time the school year ended ), but never looked back or went to live with my parents again. I have known a few friends of my little brother-in-law who were supported through college and lived at home, some still do. They have nice savings accounts and also shop for expensive things, living quite the flambouyant lifestyle. If i didnt have half my income spoken for every month before the variable outlay i am sure i too could have a nice savings pad and such! I worked out that i spent more on just rent over the 4-5 years of under and post-grad schooling (not to mention the other costs) than any of them had saved. Now they are still living there keeping their hands firmly in their parents' pockets!

 

I also learnt how to look after myself quite young as through my teens (and a bit of my pre-teens too) my folks werent around in the evenings but for a short 30-min window before i went to bed and i got up before them to go to school each day - someone has to sort this stuff out! That learning helped the moving out not seem like a big deal, just an extra expense. However when i got to college i saw some people fresh off their mother's apron strings who had no clue about supporting themselves. I understand that is the norm, but still are people that pampered? It was sadening to see and i know once they finished their little independent few years they went straight back to live with their folks again.

 

Now we are pretty much settled and completely self-supporting we are thinking that within the next year or so we going to start watching over the last few years of our grandparents lives as they are proving to be a liability to themselves and probably also by 2010 i should imagine we'll also have my mother moving in up the street so she has some more support too - hell i havent even lived in the same country as her for almost 6 years and moved out of her house 11 years ago it might even be nice to see her again. Between my wife and i, we do pretty well and things have generally fallen into place, so we like to help those we care about when we can - i dont think that is a common theme these days either!

There is no dishonor to those who live at home while continuing their education. My children will be allowed to stay to the age of 18 or until they finish school rent free. After that they have to go. I'll be damned if I'm going to support an adult with no ambition though! Furthermore the money that I save for their college, if they dont use it for school then it will not go to them! My grandchildren will get it if they wish to further their education!

Edited May 9, 2007 by Furious1Auto

[sim]

There is no dishonor to those who live at home while continuing their education. My children will be allowed to stay to the age of 18 or until they finish school rent free. After that they have to go. I'll be damned if I'm going to support an adult with no ambition though! Furthermore the money that I save for their college, if they dont use it for school then it will not go to them! My grandchildren will get it if they wish to further their education!

I can understand and agree with your frustration at kids who do nothing or those who dont use the money you saved up for them to do what you intend that money for. The living at home thing when in school i think is always going to be a point of contention. Personally i think the kids get a lot of life's lessons striking out on their own at that age, still knowing that they have a potential safety net at home, but also making their own way. I think parents who make the kids stay home are doing those kids a disservice. If their tuition fees are paid up (by the parents) i dont see why they cant make and manage their own money doing part-time and vacation work - particularly if the kids only go to school twice a week on a liberal arts major. If they are bogged down with a subject where they might attend a load of classes - something in the sciences usually, then maybe a little extra help might be in order as they wont have as much free time to spend working, its a matter of balance. I certainly wouldnt stand for them doing nothing during that time between classes if they have the opportunity to work a bit!

Edited May 9, 2007 by sim

[Furious1Auto]

I can understand and agree with your frustration at kids who do nothing or those who dont use the money you saved up for them to do what you intend that money for. The living at home thing when in school i think is always going to be a point of contention. Personally i think the kids get a lot of life's lessons striking out on their own at that age, still knowing that they have a potential safety net at home, but also making their own way. I think parents who make the kids stay home are doing those kids a disservice. If their tuition fees are paid up (by the parents) i dont see why they cant make and manage their own money doing part-time and vacation work - particularly if the kids only go to school twice a week on a liberal arts major. If they are bogged down with a subject where they might attend a load of classes - something in the sciences usually, then maybe a little extra help might be in order as they wont have as much free time to spend working, its a matter of balance. I certainly wouldnt stand for them doing nothing during that time between classes if they have the opportunity to work a bit!

You hit a nail! Full class schedule means no rent. Part time class, means partime work and rent to pay!

Edited May 9, 2007 by Furious1Auto

[objectsinmirror]

Well, this is a subject I'm too familiar with

 

I have a brother who NEVER moved out of Dad's house...he's 42...he's stilll there. How did this happen? Well he kind of "grew" into staying put. He followed Dad's footsteps and became a custodian in the local school system...he has three cars, one moped, and walks to work...Dad still does his laundry and makes dinner for him...he's had only 2 girlfreinds that both didn't work out...Now, he's not retarded, slow, or disabled. He got straight A's in high school. He's never had a charge card, never cooked his own meals, never cut the crass (he wouldn't even know how) he makes 35000/year and has banked ALL of it for like 16 years! He has become anti social and obsessive compulsive. Dad is 74 years old and would not even hear talk of him leaving. I live 5 minutes away IN MY OWN HOUSE and I see my bro maybe twice a year...sad story huh...If any young person has a plan to continue living at home, this story should be a deterent, this is the extreme...If any loving parent wishes to do right by his kid, he should get his kid out as soon as possible so BOTH become self sufficient... and not a burden on the rest of the family....get a job and get out...it's the healthiest thing really...

[ktpworker69]

What ever happened to "tough love"; who is making it easy to stay in the nest? I agree there are some circumstances when parents can help out for a while, but not forever. Little Johnny, or Jenny, needs to pay board, and should be expected to help with chores, lawn work, whatever until they move out. I've heard some parents complain about the kids getting away with murder and my answer is "Who's letting them?

my 20 yr old step son is sleeping on the fucking couch as i type this. his girlfriend is at work, she lives here too. neither of them do any chores, dont pay rent, dont do yard work, thinks there is a maid that works here to clean up his fucking messes, dont even have a fucking job. wife is pissed off about it, says shes fed up, but wont do anything. says"what can i do?" how about kick the piece of shit out on the fucking street and maybe, just maybe he'd wake up and get a job

[Maximus]

I think that it is not in your child's long term interest to let them live with you rent free with no job, etc. In fact I think you are doing the bigger disservice to them in the long run. I was working from like 10-12y/o, cutting grass, raking leaves, shoveling snow...then mid teens "moved up" to working at a gas station and had pretty much enough money saved to pay for my first year of university...was lucky enough to land a job in a paper mill during my summers to pay for each year of school, tough work and not really much of a summer social life but I make that sacrafice to pay for my school...

 

But the biggest "motivator" was that I had parents, mainly my dad, that was not going to just let me lay around "to figure things out" and do nothing...at the time it was rough seeing some of my friends who got allowance, car, etc paid for by their parents while I had to bust my ass to pay for things I wanted it made me realize how lucky this life lesson really is...namely one day in university when one of my buddies told me that his parents deposited some money in his account each week (money he had made during the summer) - when I asked him why he didn't just handle his money on his own he responds "cuz I'd blow it all by Christmas and be broke for 2nd semester"...made me laugh I was thinking what the hell are you going to do in another year when you're out working, have your employer send your cheques to mommmy and daddy?

 

Morale of the story is you're there to be their parent, not necessarily their friend - tough love will serve them way better for the rest of their life

[foxrun]

I got you all. I know a person that is 35 lives with his parents, has two children, and his girlfriend lives there too. He's a master at madden video games . His mother does his , his children's and girlfriend's laundry and cooks for them. Plus they do not contribute to the bills (sorry phone bill).

Have had plans to move out the past 8 years.

[swenson88]

I got you all. I know a person that is 35 lives with his parents, has two children, and his girlfriend lives there too. He's a master at madden video games . His mother does his , his children's and girlfriend's laundry and cooks for them. Plus they do not contribute to the bills (sorry phone bill).

Have had plans to move out the past 8 years.

 

 

Like they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. yeah you love your kids, but for god's sake love them enough to make them be their own person. Babying them well into their twenties is ridiculous, I couldn't imagine living off of my parents' dime, I'd rather live in a homeless shelter, it'd be less degrading in my eyes.

[PolarBear]

Oldest kid (20) still lives at home. Really the apartment downstairs (walkout basement). But...pays rent, his share of the utilities, has a good job, new truck. Actually works too hard- 50-60 hr weeks aren't uncommon, and has a g/f too, so we hardly ever see him. Never seen a time since he could drive that he wasn't gainfully employed, so we can't fault him for that.

[Twincam Harley]

my 20 yr old step son is sleeping on the fucking couch as i type this. his girlfriend is at work, she lives here too. neither of them do any chores, dont pay rent, dont do yard work, thinks there is a maid that works here to clean up his fucking messes, dont even have a fucking job. wife is pissed off about it, says shes fed up, but wont do anything. says"what can i do?" how about kick the piece of shit out on the fucking street and maybe, just maybe he'd wake up and get a job

 

I'm sure it's tough with him being the step son but if you can't kick him out because of the wife, you can surely drag his BUTT off the couch and work him around the house or insist he get a job. Don't know how his GF got to living there but that was a mistake. I'd give him a move out date if it were me. Maybe 6 months to get a job and save some money for a deposit on a place to stay. Time to wake up and smell the coffeee for that kid. Best of luck to you.